Like Me, Love Me or Don’t

Do you seek approval or support from anyone? I had to ask myself this question and the answer was both painful and insightful.

Being the youngest of four siblings, I grew up expecting to be told what I could and could not do, always having to get the nod from my parents and older siblings for various things and depending on their approval before I proceeded. As I grew older, became a mom and made career choices, I still sought the approval of the ones closest to me. Granted, I think I made some pretty traditional, sound choices so it wasn’t hard to get their nod of approval or support. I married a nice man, went to college and became a nurse then had three beautiful daughter, which I know pleased my parents and family. Why wouldn’t it?

In more recent years, my husband and I have made some “different” choices based on what we felt was best for our family. I decreased my work hours from full time to part time, began homeschooling the kids, started a network marketing business, embarked on an amazing fitness journey and most recently launched a blog. Honestly, these are ideas completely foreign to most of my family members and things that my parents would never dream of trying. It has taken a great amount of courage to step out of my comfort zone and take on these ventures. At first, it hurt a lot when people would ask me “WHY?” I chose to take on such lofty dreams. They weren’t asking why in a genuinely curious way. They were asking in a condescending, degrading way as if questioning my decision-making capacity. I’ve learned that for me to succeed at any of these new undertakings, I needed to maintain a strong mindset and not let any other people’s opinion dictate my path. I also learned that whether or not someone supports me doesn’t matter. I will do it with or without them. I got this. These days, I do my best to go about my life not worrying whether my loved ones will support me in ALL I do. Although I’m human and yes, it feels nice when the ones closest to me can share in the joy of accomplishments or even empathize with failure, I will not let it define me. This is my journey to make and I’m a big girl. I can handle this.

lifeguard tower near body of water
Photo by Sasha Martynov on

One thought on “Like Me, Love Me or Don’t

  1. Hi Little Sister. I speak for me only, can’t speak for the others. I apologize if my questions are hurtful. Please understand that as an older sibling, it is ingrained in us to ‘take care’ of the little one. Don’t put that in your mouth! Hold my hand! Watch where you are going. Keep pedaling! It starts when you are born and we have 12 years of life experience on you. We always will have 12 years more experience, but as we age, that 12 years becomes a smaller percentage of your life. Now it’s ‘only’ 30%. Know that I couldn’t be happier for you and your life decisions. You and your family are a shining example for us and your friends. Keep your positive attitude and remember, we are hard wired to watch out for the little ones. It’s a hard habit to break. You may find that as you continue to raise your little ones. Love You, Bubby


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